Currently Listening A Public Affair By Jessica Simpson see related

So I love Jessica Simpsons new CD, But I already knew I would. I relate to so many of the songs on it-I urge everyone to at least download these songs, there so wonderful and they make me think about everything going on in my life now

*Back To You-When i first saw you, i already new. I was breaking my own heart when i fell for you. I meant to be a moment of a lovers tabu, when I let my mine wander it brings me right back there to you...heyy..yea

What a beautiful house with the city lights view. No white picked fence, no porch swing for two. But the lights they just sparkle like your eyes used to do, when i let my mind wander it brings me right back there to you.
"ohh back to you" heyy "back you"
back there to you
"ooo back to you" yea "back to you"

I'll get away as my chance to be free. Cause I can't feel tied down to seomthing I don't see. But what i see marry it don't knows my place, but i let my mind wander it brings me right back there to you. Oh yea. But i let my mind wander it bring me right back..
"ohh back to you" "back to you"
right back to you
"ooo back to you" yea "back to you"

How will you find me through the thunder and rain. "thunder and rain" Cast away these clouds, to feel so much pain. Everytime that I try "I try" Everytime that i fly "I fly" Everytime that I say goodbye, it's cause i'm missing you. I'm missing you. Yea. Ohh. When I want to be it bring me right back.

I should find peace in the still of the night. I lye awake cause your not by my side. These arms of mine left empty cause your not in my life. But i let my mind wander it bring me right back there to you. Heyy. I let my mind wander it brings me right back there to you. I let my mind wander it brings me right back there to you. "ooo back to you" yea "back to you" When i let my mind wander it brings me right back..back there to you. Back there to you. Back there to you. Back there to you.

*I Belong to me-Its not that I dont wanna share my life with you baby, Its just that Im the one I need to be true to baby. And I won't give up me to be part of you. Its not that I dont want to have you in my life baby, its just you gotta know that its got to be right baby, before I open up my heart to you I dont need somebody to complete me. I complete myslef... nobodys got to belong to somebody else.

Chorus
I belong to me, I dont belong to you
my heart is my posession, Ill be my own reflection
I belong to me, Im one not half of two,
and if you're gonna love me, you should know this baby
I belong to me

Verse
I gota let you know before I let you in baby, that who I am is not about who I am with baby. That dont mean I dont wanna be here with you , I do.

I dont need somebody to complete me, I want you to know I give all my love but Im not givin all my soul.

Chorus
I belong to me, I dont belong to you
my heart is my posession, Ill be my own reflection
I belong to me, Im one not half of two
and if you're gonna love me, you should know this baby
I belong to me

Oh yea

Love dont mean changin who you are to be who somebody wants you to be, nobodys got to belong to nobody.

I belong to me, I dont belong to you
my heart is my posession, Ill be my own reflection
I belong to me, I dont belong to you
my heart is my posession, Ill be my own reflection
I belong to me, Im one not half of two,
and if your gonna love me, you should know this baby
I belong to me
*I dont wanna care anymore-Here's another day
Another girl left so confused
Trying to find a way
In the common likes of you
But you're so undecided
Stringing me along
And it hurts just thinking 'bout one day your here and then your gone

Nothing to say
Wont hesitate
Can't walk away from you
You weren't there
When I was scared
Now all I wanna do is forget about love

So I don't wanna care about love
No I don't wanna care about us
I don't wanna care at all anymore
I used to only care a little bit
But now I care way too much
Now this love thing I wish I never felt it before
I don't wanna care anymore

Trying to brace myself
For the fall coz you didn't catch me
Promised that you would hold me tight, be the one I need

But I stood waiting for you to come give me a ride
Back to what love's supposed to be; I guess that was a lie

You and I now
I don't how
I could have fallen so deep
Coz you weren't here to wipe all my tears
Erase it from my memories
I don't want to care

So I don't wanna care about love
No I don't wanna care about us
I don't wanna care at all anymore
I used to only care a little bit
But now i care way too much
Now this love thing i wish i never felt it before
I dont wanna care

Oh my precious time; now I can't get it back
So lost and alone
And I can't take feelin' like that

Baby I've had enough
I just wanna move on
Don't wanna look back
Coz I know I gotta be strong

I don't wanna care about love anymore
I don't wanna care about us
I don't want to care about love…

So I don't wanna care about love
No I don't wanna care about us
I don't wanna care at all anymore
I used to only care a little bit
But now I care way too much
Now this love thing I wish I never felt it before
I don't wanna care

So I don't wanna care about love
No I don't wanna care about us
I don't wanna care at all anymore
I used to only care a little bit
But now I care way too much
Now this love thing I wish I never felt it before
I don't wanna care anymore
 

Acc is turing out to be alot better than I thought it would. I have alot of descions I need to be making....alot of stuff to think about that could change my life for the good or bad. Anyone that knows me rather well would know what and who Im reffering to...gahh I wish someone would just give me the right answer.

Edit-Wish me luck tonight. I think I may just get my answer...

I think Im done with posting my feelings on this damn thing.

Why do people waite for something that they know more than likely will never come back to them or come at all? I guess in my case, it was better to have had it come to me at one time, then never have came into my life at all. I guess even with all the mixed-messages I have recieved I know deep-down in my heart that theres like a 10% chance of us ever happening again. Its so weird to me that you can be okay with just being freinds. I mean, Im trying really hard to bring myself to that level but I just dont know If I will actualy ever reach it. I feel foolish wasting all this time and you have made a fool out of me several differnt times but I just seem to be comming back for more. I guess maybe it is time to start listing to my head and not my heart? Its just so hard to give up when you feel as if you may be accomplishing something worth while, but it sucks when you realize that you didnt achive anything but extra heartacke and tears. I guess the saying "Sometimes love is not enough" is def true, because sometimes you can be so in love but it just dosent seem to be enough when you have so many other things standing against you. I feel like this chapter in my life should have been closed along time ago but as long as you keep me stringing along, it will remain open.

-Nicole

Currently Listening Farmhouse By Phish see related

Well sometimes I dont see things ever looking up.I just cant understand how I could possibly still be feeling down about this. Theres just something about you, I cant figure out what, but theres something that brings me back to you everytime and somehow I may say I regret things, but I honestly dont. You are the one person that had ever made me the happiest girl in the world at one time. I dont know where you went or where we went and why it had to end, but it did and Im still dealing with the emotional after effcts that you left. I try moving on, Ive tried numerous amounts of times but theres something about you that I just cant let go of. I know I will always have memories of you, and hopefuly you will have memories of me as well that you will hold deep in your heart and never forget. Its just hard to completly let go when I feel that theres something thats keeping me hooked on. My freinds and family cant even answer why I still feel this way after the time thats passed. Maybe Im crazy ( and if so its because of you=)) I just wish that things would be made clear one way or another. You say one thing but you do another and by your actions Id say you still love me just as much as I love you, then again some pretty fucked up shit has happened. I just wish that one day would go by without you comming into my head. You are still my first thought in the morning and my last thought before I go to sleep, which is prolly why I dream about you like every night. You even said to me not even a month ago "theres just something about you Nicole, that makes me think of you constantly. I cant get you out of my head or stop thinking about you" Me too. And I have no idea why I even write this crap on here, you dont have xanga so you will prolly NEVER read this. Im just sick to death of this because I think I may have found someone, a very wonderful guy that would give me the damn world, but your holding me back for some odd reason...

My birthday is Sunday, whoo 18.Im excited....a sunday b-day with school the next day.....at acc to top it all off. Couldnt ask for more could I?

The only thing that could make me feel better is seeing the Flaming Lips-With my BFF ALEX but I duno if thats gonna happen haha

-Nicole

EDIT: Omg could last night be any more confusing? Im serisouly worn very thin now. Someone please, give me the right answer. How come once a girl gets her heart broken, the only person she will let back in is the one who broke it to begin with?